Wow, it's been over a year since my last post.... A whole year that I've been on this adventure and have become a mom (of sorts at least) I've sat down in front of my computer screen (when I finally got one that worked) and I had full intentions of updating my blog but when it came to it.... nothing. zip. ziltch. natta. I was having some major brain farts and could not get my words in order so that they would make any sense for you. But as I thought and thought about how to summarize my year for you.... God did good things. His timing always astounds me, He kept my mouth silent and kept me from sharing with you while He taught me, molded me and changed my heart to make me who I am today.
So while I was brainstorming and trying to find the right words to say about what God has done for my little crazy clan this past year.... I couldn't even begin to summarize it! There has been so much change, so much growth and we've learned so much this year that I couldn't even begin to put it all into one tiny post! But all of a sudden, my mind recalled a verse... Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law" Yup. There it is folks.... my life in a year.... well not quite, I'll elaborate for you. (Bear with me, this may be longer than normal)
Love- This fruit, seems like the one that would just make the most sense..... but it's a lot harder to do than it sounds. My boys have tendencies to push my buttons, even if they don't mean too, they do. But at those moments when I feel like I'm about to lose it, I remember that I've committed to caring for and loving them, UNCONDITIONALLY. I'm not going to lie, there are times that the only love they receive is the love I've prayed that God would give me for them. But after a while, I have genuinely appreciated these boys and have loved them deeper than I could have ever expected too; only through the grace and love that the Lord has blessed me with.
Joy- How can you be joyful when life doesn't make sense? When you feel like no matter where you turn, something is going to hurt you, knock you down and is just out to get you? Well.... here's something I've learned, someone is out to get you! 1 Peter 5:8 "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" The devil is waiting and hoping to destroy our joy, especially on days where "can you do this for me?" or "I need this done today" or "we have nothing to eat in this house!" is all you hear from your kids. But I have learned that even on those days God is still on our side and our faith is in Him, not anything else and through His Spirit, we can receive the joy promised to us. 1 Thessalonians 1:6 "You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit."
Peace- This fruit is very similar to the last, it's hard to find peace in the midst of trials and of tough days. But again, God is so good and He will always provide what we need to find His peace. There is nothing more peaceful and comforting to a parent, than hearing your teenage boys talking to each other and laughing together... not fighting, like normal. I also receive God's beautiful peace when my 17 year old sits down with my and pours his heart out to me, I know The Lord has a beautiful plan for these boys and knowing I get to play a part in that plan, gives me such peace, we are going to be okay.
Patience- This one is quite obvious, how easy is it to learn patience when you need to be at work and have to drop off your 14 year old off at school in 15 minutes and you suddenly realize... he's still sleeping! yup, that's happened in our home, not once, not twice... but 5 times... in a week. Talk about frustrating. So at that point, you sit down, like mature beings and you make a plan, one that helps me not lose my mind and one that gets him out of bed (usually) It's a plan called "You wake up and be ready by 8:15 or you're walking and are late for school then you lose privileges like your iPod or social events in the evening... make your choice" It's a long title, but we think it's a great plan and it's worked so far! :) Maybe it doesn't sound like patience to you, but rather than getting mad, yelling and being constantly frustrated with each other, we have a clear understanding, we are open, honest and are aware of the consequences of our actions. It's been good.
Forbearance/Kindness/ Gentleness- These 3 really work well together.... I didn't really know what the word forbearance meant or how it applied to me but when I looked up the original word "Forbear" it meant "to refrain or abstain from".... yikes, this did apply to me. How many times have I wanted to say "seriously?! I told you to do this yesterday!" or "Am I speaking English?! do you understand what I actually say to you?" yes... it gets bad sometimes but I have to remember that I want these boys to grow into strong men of God and I want to build them up and acknowledge their strengths, not constantly point out flaws. This is when I pray for a gentle spirit and learn to say, "Thank you for doing that, it's important to me to know you're helping in that way" or to say "Can you do this for me? I'm not really that good at it, you're better at it than me" They need to know they are needed and wanted by me, so holding back those negative thoughts and comments and trying to replace them with words of kindness and encouragement has been a blessing for us all.
Goodness/ Faithfulness- When I think about these fruits, I can't help but think about how God has been good to us and so faithful to hearing our prayers. But I know that these are about what God has taught me about these fruits and how I show them in my life so, here it goes.... there are times when a person feels so vulnerable and tenderhearted that you really don't know where to turn. A few weeks ago, I got a call that my 17 year old, bumped his head (while stunting at a playground) and needed to go into the hospital, I had no idea how bad this was, I got to him and his eyes were rolling to the back of his head and he couldn't walk. My heart sank into my stomach and I had no idea what I was going to do. We rushed him to the hospital and the doctors checked him out and sent him by ambulance to get a CT scan; all the while, hearing him scream in pain and watching him fear for his life (both earthly and spiritually), I almost couldn't stand it. But through that night at some point, God reached down, heard my prayers and He spoke to me, to my kid and He touched us. He gave me this indescribable answer to prayer and He gave me the privilege to talk to and pray for my sons soul at 4am, in an emergency room hospital bed, with tears in my eyes and fears in my heart... God had heard my unceasing and faithful prayers for this child. When we are faithful and trust Gods word, it will NOT return void, He is good and He is faithful to hear and answer our prayers. (FYI my child didn't accept Christ as his Savior that I know of that night and has not told me if he has after that, but his heart has been searching now more than ever and I praise God for that)
Self-control- I kind of feel like this one would fall under the same category as Forbearance.... but it doesn't. This fruit doesn't involve just simply holding back, no, this fruit reflects the spiritual battle we face between our flesh and our spirit. Sometimes we want things, such as, freedom and the strong urge we face to run away, start a new life where we can do what we want, when we want and have nobody to be accountable to but ourselves. This is when our self control comes into play, in Philippians 2:3-4 we are told to "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." This tells me that, if I want to live a life lead by the spirit, I am to overcome the desire to "be free to be me again" and think of others, like, the people in my home, as more important than myself and my selfish desires. Some days and some weeks, it can take all the strength I have and more strength from God to stay put and control those desires to just quit my life and get a new one. But God gives us that strength to, sometimes even when we least expect it.
This life isn't glamorous, nor is it easy, but God gives us the tools we need everyday to be able to trust in Him and in His plan for us. This post is not meant to be understood in the way that I have perfected these fruits and am now living the perfect Christian life... nay nay, this is to share with you just some of the lessons in parenting that I have been taught over the past 394 days; I am learning more and more everyday. Some days these lessons are easy to receive, other times, it's like a kick in the teeth, but I'm continuing to learn, grow and by Gods grace am able to teach my kids these lessons too. God is so good.... All the time.
God Bless,
Nicole
No comments:
Post a Comment