June of 2013 since my last post... wow. 4 years and I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to share. I'd love to tell you that over the past 4 years, so much has changed, I'd love to tell you about my fairy tale love life and my perfect children and happy little family and life. I would love to tell you how perfect things are and I would absolutely love to tell you that I am loving where I am in my life and how every day is such an incredible blessing. But the honest truth is, that's not my reality, that may never be my reality. I live in a different house, same small town, I have taken in another child, she keeps me on my toes and one of my boys have moved out and live 5 hours away from here. I have changed churches in the last year, have been through a new few groups of friends. But when it comes down to it... in the past 4 years, not a whole lot has actually changed for me.
That being said, don't misunderstand something, my circumstances have not changed a whole lot, but I, however, have changed. I've grown as a person, I've learned a lot and I have been pushed, pulled, knocked down and picked back up again, I have been through some rough waters and through the grace of God, I have come out a stronger woman who has grown closer to my Lord. If I could share with you all that I have learned over the past few years, we could be here all night... or day, totally depending on your time zone. The point is, there are a lot of things I have learned and I hope to share a few things with you through this blog as God allows.
In the last few months I have decided to leave social media, I was done with the drama, with the arguments, with all the judgments and all the time it took away from my time with God. I also did not like who I was becoming, rather than praying for someone who was struggling, I would be harsh and would judge their lifestyle choices without even knowing what they were going through. Facebook and Instagram became my main topics of conversation.. "Did you see what they posted?" became an all too common phrase in my world and very rarely did I come across a post where I did not just roll my eyes and think "Oh, get over it". To say the least, I was not acting or living the way a woman of God should. I knew it needed to change, so I got rid of it all. The one and only down side to it was, I love to see and post encouragements and scriptures (even though that unfortunately wasn't always evident in the real world) for my brothers and sisters in Christ. I loved to share the things The Lord had been doing in my life and now, I had lost that.
I had remembered though a while back, that I had started this blog years ago and figured it might be a good time to restart it, to start sharing again about all the things I had been learning and maybe I could be an encouragement to whoever decided to read it. That idea was quickly shut down by all my thoughts of doubt and my fear of failing again, I never gave it a second thought. That was until a dear friend of mine, asked me my opinion on blogging and had shared that she was at the same point I was, she was no longer on social media, but had felt like she wanted to share what God laid on her heart, even if nobody read it, she wanted it to be shared. I was encouraged by her conviction and convicted by her faithfulness! It didn't matter what people thought, it didn't matter who all read it, it was not about her, it's not about me, it's about serving The Lord faithfully and sharing His Word with anyone who would listen. So, I decided to jump back on the band wagon and I'm restarting my blog!
The goal I am trying to reach here is not about me, I want this to be edifying, my desire is that people who read this, will not see me, but will see Christ. I want them to see all that God has carried me through so that they will see His power revealed and will praise Him for all He is worth. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for sharing it with others if you ever feel led to do so. May God bless you through these posts.
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer"
Psalms 19:14
-Nicole
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