Not my thoughts... not my ways...

     When I started this blog, I wanted to update it weekly.... that has proven to be a lot harder then it sounds. I wanted it to be awesome, thought provoking and inspiring, instead, I'm finding myself having a VERY difficult time collecting all my thoughts into one simple, organized, sense making post! I've started and erased this post at LEAST  5 times already!


     This week in particular has been difficult, my thoughts have been consumed with baby names, definitions of baby names, work, who I will marry someday, who I WANT to marry someday, finances, getting a legal will and who I would leave my future child with if I should die before they are 18, what would my mom have to say about all this? how long should I wait to get another kid? do I even want another kid? why am I thinking about this before I even have ONE kid?! am I going to be single forever? cause if I am.. I better buy a place, I don't want to rent forever! Will I be a good mom? what if this adoption falls through and this was all for nothing? then what! what if my child grows to hate me? I don;t think i can do this. I don;t think I'm really qualified! why would God tell me I should do this if I can't do it? That cruel to play with my emotions like that!... God would do that, He's not a mean God so this must be ok. Yes. No. Yes. No. Back. Forth. Back. Forth... you get the point and that's all in a span of 10 minutes! My brain just doesn't seem to stop these days! Thankfully, there is hope for me! When I go through times of non-stop brainwaves, worries and fears, I turn to the only one who can calm all my storms and He can lead me beside still waters... wow, still waters, what a thought my heart needs!


     I looked in my Bible app and typed into the search bar "thoughts" and I discovered, I'm not the only person to have a thinking problem! In Isaiah 55:8 God says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. So God knew, He knew I'd go through times where my thoughts would drive me crazy! He knew that I would have all these doubts and fears in my mind and He reassures me that, He also has thoughts about me and my life and His thoughts are NOT the same as mine! So that must mean they are good! How awesome is that! 


     While I was searching I also found it interesting to see that a lot of the verses on thoughts were from the book of Psalms, many times David speaks of wrestling with his thoughts and how they have caused him a lot of grief. I found this so interesting because God and David were pretty tight. David was known as the "man after God's own heart" and even he had these times of wrestling with his own thoughts. Yet God has assured him and me and you that, His thoughts and ways are not ours....


     So this post about all my mixed up thoughts and emotions I guess really boil down to one very important topic.... Trust... sigh ...  but I'll save that topic for next weeks post :)


-Adios.

Every adventure needs a first step!

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."-Corrie Ten Boom       Very wise words from a very beautiful woman.... It just simply blows my mind when I think about those words. I am so glad we have a God who we know and trust and who is always there guiding us.       This past weekend I definitely felt that trust and peace in trust as I put a huge piece of my heart on display for all to see when I announced in church my plans to adopt a child.... yup! I'm gonna be a mom! (well if all goes well yes, I will be) I was SOOO excited to share this news and yet so scared at the same time. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my chest, I can be open about it and don't have to feel nervous about it any longer.      I know this is not going to be an easy road and there will be days that I'm seriously wondering what I'm doing. But I do know I'm doing the right thing because I believe that when God calls you to do something, you don't need to justify it for anyone else and you sure don't have to worry that He won't help you through it! Sometimes this is easier said then done but thats when friends and family and church family comes into place to lift me up and pray for me right? So now you know why I started this blog in the first place, it's so that I can really keep you posted on this for real adventure I'm on, it's so I can share my experiences, stories and probably even frustrations, I'm kind of wearing my heart on my sleeve when it comes to this blog but I think it's just what I will need to get through some days.       So far I haven't even gotten very far in the whole process, I have filled out application forms and done both criminal and CYIM checks so now I just need to go through the home visits and then I will be in the data base and the waiting game begins! I am so excited to see what God is going to do in my life and yet I'm so scared because I know what He's capable of...Anything! But He is good and He has given me so many promises in His word that I know whatever He has planned for me will be good.... no not just good but great! and beyond anything I could have imagined!      I even have some pictures to go along with each step!! woohoo for visuals!       Here is the actual form I had to fill out if you can't read it, it says at the top:  Application to Adopt a Child. Yup, I got butterflys when I read that!         Ready to be mailed out! I needed to make sure it had enough postage to get to High Level! :) I was going to take an actual picture of me putting it in the mail box but there were people checking the mail and watching me so I chickened out!      Thank you so much for reading and I am so excited to share each step in this adventure with you! Later.

A few thoughts to start this adventure

   So here I am, writing my very first blog, I feel so liberated! so, technologically advanced! so, so, so..... okay really I don't feel any different at all, I just figured I'd start a blog about my boring little life to see if anyone would be interested in hearing what I have to say :)

   Since I did title this blog "A few thoughts to start this adventure" let's start the adventure!! But I'll keep it short because my brain is getting tired and ready to shut down so... Here's my thoughts....

Thought 1: I think blogging will be great for my health. I've always been much better at expressing myself through writing then any other form of communication, so when life gets me down or when I want to shout something from the rooftops... I can do so with the help of my dear friend the Internet and of course blogger.com... It'll be therapeutic.

Thought 2: The so called "adventure" that was named in the title of this blog is basically my way of saying this year.. as in, 2012 (just in case you missed new years eve) I am looking forward to this year, it will be scary, it will be exciting and it will be life changing, I just know it will be. I'm so excited to share it with... you.

Thought 3: Why am I not in bed yet?.... seriously this was all I could think of at this point, but alas! the blog must go on!

Thought 4: According to Dictionary.com the definition for the word adventure is as follows:

   ad·ven·ture   [ad-ven-cher] 

1. an exciting or very unusual experience.

2. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.

3. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.

4. a commercial or financial speculation of any kind; venture.

5. Obsolete .

    a.peril; danger; risk.

    b.chance; fortune; luck.

   verb (used with object)

6. to risk or hazard.

7. to take the chance of; dare.

8. to venture to say or utter: to adventure an opinion.

That is one powerful word, my personal favorite is "a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome" How awesome does that sound? 

Thought 5: now it's REALLY time to hit the hay!

So when I think about the adventures I've been through in this past year, I can't wait to discover the "uncertain outcome" of what this years holds in store for me! and I can't wait to share it all with you!

Peace. Out.