Iris Murdoch
These words could not be truer for my current state of life. It's been over a month since I last updated my blog which means I am at least 3 blogs behind and I doubt I will fit everything into this one blog. but I'll see how far I get!
At the beginning of March I had my home visit with my case worker and it went SO good! Praise the Lord! I was so excited about it and how everything was just happening so fast! I knew God was going to just do something wonderful in my life with the prospects of adopting a child! I still think He will, I just don't know when it'll happen now. This past week I have been doing a lot of reanalyzing and thinking and re-thinking things in my life and here's the conclusion I've come to:
I would like to put my application on hold for the next few months to a year and see where God has put me by then. This decision was NOT an easy one and it makes me very sad to put this very important thing to the back burner and I know God has it in store for me to be a mom and soon. At this point I feel I need to be a little more stable and on my feet and help my family get to that place to before I bring a child into this whole situation. It will be MUCH more beneficial for both me and my child if I am at a stable place financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Here are just some of the reasons why I have made this decision and why I have been caught up in such a whirlwind of madness lately:
Unfortunately, my family has been having some problems getting our lives in order. My dad thinks it's ok to just drop everything and take off for a week and just let me pick up the slack and take care of my 2 teenage brothers and my sister is still 21 so, she's not all that interested in raising teenage boys. I love my brothers and my family, please don't get that wrong, but I'm getting a little worn down already. I am only 25, not 52 don't confuse the two and I feel as if I am taking on way to much between, a full time job, a social life and keeping track of 2 teenagers by making sure they are on time for school and are home in bed on time.
There has been quite a lot more that has been going on but I think this is all the most important stuff, if I was to write about EVERYTHING I have been dealing with over the past few weeks, it would be more of a novel then a blog! hey, there's an idea! a book! It could be called "....You act like I should be surprised when you called me crazy" Sounds like a best seller to me :)
Aside from all the thoughts and the random craziness, I've had a lot of fun spending time with my awesome friends, awesome youth group that I get to lead and my awesome boys that I would pretty much bend over backwards for. God is good. ALL THE TIME.
"10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish[a] woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."
Job 2:10
I'm working on being a little more like Job, whatever happens, happens, God won't forget me so I will keep trusting Him.
Good night Blogger world!
